6. He had something stuck in his butt.
I picked up a client who said he was on his way to the hospital to get ‘something’ removed. It was very clear by his movements that he had something stuck in his butt. I asked if he needed an ambulance instead but he said he didn’t have insurance so he couldn’t afford it. After I dropped him off and helped him in, I got back in the car and found a blood stain on the seat.
Morals of the story: 1) If you’re poor, don’t shove things in your butt that can get stuck and 2) never get light gray upholstery in your new car.
I didn’t charge him. I honestly felt bad for him more than anything else. He seemed like a nice guy, and if he was really in such a hard place financially that he had to take a bumpy Uber ride with something inside him… I couldn’t make him pay for the mess he made.